Blog

10/10/10: Years go by and what progress have I made? Bogged down in basic survival. Happiness is so fleeting. All I want is to break the cover of suppression. Be able to say "I want and I am gong to do it." But I am not that person. You have no idea what you have in me. I AM a good person. I am not selfish or greedy. I am giving... but my giving does not meet your criteria. So good by again for another year.

12/12/08: Gee, not much has changed! I could just copy and paste from below. Only thing different is the economy, so he has to suffer through my cooking.

12/19/07: A quiet place where no one comes. Alone in a crowd, yet there is no crowd...just alone. Too much sadness, not just in me, but in the world. If there is a God, he has obviously thrown up his hands in frustration and left us all on our own. Me, I get by, but I wait for peace. I locked myself in my past and I have done it again. Above all else, I live to please others. And then when the burden gets too great, I try to break out. Then I am the bad person. I don't know how to break the cycle. Just tell me what you want and I will create a world that does not allow for anything different. You want me to be happy? I will keep a smile on my face. You never want to travel, just be a homebody? I will take on responsibilities that will not allow us to be away from home. You want to eat out? I will feed the lunch I prepared to the dogs...or burn the food....or fail to get it ready at the precise moment you are hungry. When my presence in your life does not make you happy, please just tell me. I will sadly move on, for all I ever want to do is make you happy.